By Dr Rahim Said
Generosity is often hailed as a virtue, a hallmark of a compassionate society. But what happens when kindness is mistaken for a free-for-all?
This is the question raised by the recent incident involving Vicky Liang and her nearly bald curry leaf tree.
The story, which has gone viral on social media, sheds light on the fine line between generosity and exploitation.
Vicky, like many in her community, was accustomed to sharing the bounty of her garden with neighbours. It’s a simple act of kindness, emblematic of the close-knit nature of Malaysian neighbourhoods. After all, curry leaves are a must for most Indian or Malaysian cuisines.
When a stranger asked her son if he could pick some curry leaves, it seemed like another routine request.
However, this seemingly benign exchange quickly turned sour when the stranger stripped the tree of nearly all its leaves, leaving behind just a few bare branches.
Confronted with the evidence of this overzealous harvest, the stranger’s nonchalant response — “I left a few branches for you, didn’t cut it all” — reveals a disturbing sense of entitlement.
Vicky’s sarcastic thanks and subsequent charge of RM10 for the leaves underscored the absurdity of the situation.
Yet, the man’s attempt to haggle, suggesting RM5 instead, added insult to injury. The audacity to complain about being “at a loss” after taking more than his share is a prime example of how some people can exploit others’ generosity.
This incident is not isolated. Many people shared similar stories online, highlighting a troubling trend: the exploitation of goodwill. Vicky’s experience points to a broader issue about the social contract in our communities.
While kindness and generosity should be encouraged, they should not be mistaken for an invitation to take advantage.
The implications of this are significant. If such behaviour goes unchecked, it risks eroding the very fabric of community spirit. People may become wary of sharing, fearing that their kindness will be met with greed.
In the long run, this could lead to a more insular, less trusting society, where the willingness to help others is overshadowed by the fear of being taken advantage of.
So, what can we learn from Vicky’s curry leaf saga?
Perhaps it’s a reminder that while generosity is a virtue, it must be coupled with boundaries.
It’s perfectly reasonable to expect that those who receive should do so with respect and moderation.
As for the rest of us, maybe it’s time to plant our own curry leaf trees or at the very least, ask politely and take only what we need.
After all, a true act of kindness respects both the giver and the gift.
Dr. Rahim Said is a human behaviourist and regular contributor on digital media platforms. He is a professional management consultant, a corporate trainer and an executive coach specialising in coaching of senior executives and individual entrepreneurs with the purpose of modifying their behaviour in the pursuit of their cherished missions. (The views expressed by our columnist are entirely his own)
WE